I am tired of competition.
I know this is a very First World Problem sorta problem, but gosh, in a world where we have such abundance that everyone can have enough (not as much as they want, possibly, but definitely enough), I hate having to jump through hoops and wrangle my body for enough to survive.
This is not a complaint about my new job. I quite like my new job! I’m still learning the ropes, but I think I’m getting better at it, and the money is enough that I’m unlikely to starve to death.
But it is to say that I would be so much happier doing this job if I could put more time and energy into my writing, which I absolutely love. There’s so much I want to do! So many things I want to… thing! And instead I have to constantly divide my attention between my passions, and my paying gig.
It’s frustrating.
But it is what it is, for now. Today I’m going to see if I can edit 10 whole chapters (about another quarter of the novel!), because I am almost done my unpaid painting commission (long story) and not quite ready to dive into my paid one. So that’s exciting!
It may not be perfect, but on days like this when I can really dive into the work, I can sometimes forget that.
Hope everyone out there is staying safe and healthy!